They say that life is full of cycles and I feel that at this moment. It was almost exactly 15 years ago that I was packing up from my parents house to begin the next phase of my life in Texas. I was going out to see the world, to learn important things, to find myself on my own. It was an exciting time that I had been looking forward to. A time of independence, of change, of the unknown. Back then my belongings fit in a large suitcase and the dollars in my bank account were best counted by the hundreds, yet I was armed with the fearlessness that accompanies the teenage years and the naivete that tells you know it all. Now as I prepare to start this journey again, I am carrying the additional weight of 15 years of experience. I would like to think that most of that is in the form of wisdom but these years have proven that, contrary to my teenage-self, I don't know it all. As before, I go forward optimistically, hopefully, even excitedly. Yet the 'what-ifs' are great, too. What if things don't work out like we planned? What if my family is unhappy here? What if we can't find an apartment/job/friends/schools/etc..? Too bad we can't always be as bold as our youthful selves! But part of life is pushing on, moving forward, changing, adjusting and becoming better. It is not always easy as we harden with age but it is always worthwhile. One thing is the same between 15 years ago and now. I feel a bit of sadness upon leaving home. It is bitter-sweet, really. I am so grateful for the extended time we had at home and to enjoy family, yet as always the end comes too fast. At least now as we move on, there will not be half a world of distance separating us and that is reassuring in itself. So tonight I go to bed with a longing for looking back but tomorrow we will drive looking forward. Here's to what lies ahead!
Oh my goodness, Tracy. So excited for you guys! Lots of changes, but so much adventure :)
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